what if quotes funny

Duct tape is silver - Anonymous The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. Youre the reason I drink.


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. When you think of parenting you think of that person next to you supporting you. The man will be there to feed the dog. The Conclusion Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.

Tact is for those who arent funny enough for sarcasm. I always wanted to be somebody but now I realize I should have been more specific Lily Tomlin. Some people are reluctant even.

The factory of the future will have only two employees a man and a dog. 62 Funny Philosophy Jokes That Wont Let You Stop Laughing. 75Funny Girls quotes for Instagram.

The superhero of the workweek. These funny quotes by comedians are motivational and hilarious at the same time. Funny engineering quotes for civil engineering.

Famous Funny and Inspiring Tech and IT Quotes. Laughter is the best medicine. It means youre in the wrong house.

As a child my familys menu consisted of two choices. Here are some funny work quotes to consider. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

That clearly points to a political career. Make today so good that yesterday is jealous. Music always sounds better on Friday Lou Brutus.

If not youll become a philosopher Socrates. If you can fake that youve got it made - Groucho Marx Light travels faster than sound. If youre having a bad day or if someone you love needs a.

If at first you dont succeed then skydiving definitely isnt for you Steven Wright. Age is of no importance unless youre a cheese Billie Burke. And theres so much truth to that old adage.

Just like everyone else Margaret Mead If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton you may as well make it dance George Bernard Shaw Whats another word for Thesaurus Steven Wright Sometimes when I close my eyes I cant see Unknown. Imagination is more important than knowledge. George Bernard Shaw.

The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment. When tempted to fight fire with fire remember that the Fire Department usually uses water Unknown. 60 Short Funny Motivational Quotes.

Tweet like nobodys following. You know how the saying goes. If you dont heal what hurt you you will bleed on people who didnt cut you.

Any idiot can build a bridge that stands but it takes an engineer to build a bridge that barely stands. Doing your best is enough especially if you are doing it alone. An almond exists because a honey bee visited an almond blossom.

As a single mom all you have is yourself. And try to find somebody whos life gives them vodka and have a party. Funny quotes about quarantine.

It does not matter where were you during this time I am sure it was not the best time in your life. The golden child of the weekdays. Take a much-needed break from your day to check out these 101 funny quotes we found in stand-up comedy books plays celebrity Twitter and interviews as well as movies and TV shows guaranteed.

If life gives you lemons you should make lemonade. If you find a good wife youll be happy. You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy the best golfer is a black guy the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese the Swiss hold the Americas Cup France is accusing the US.

Real girls are never perfect and perfect girls are never real. Funny Senior Quotes slash the wind on Facebook Funny Senior Quotes slash the wind on Facebook. Take it or leave it.

My advice to you is get married. You can boost morale in the workplace by sharing a message about the upcoming weekend. Very Short Funny Quotes About Life Always remember that you are absolutely unique.

Of arrogance Germany doesnt want to go to war and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush Dick and Colin. Reasoning involves serious conversation and thought. Quarantine has been tough for all of us.

There ought to truly be a line drawn among you and the profound void of considerations that will have you secured as far as you could tell diving into the. Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. Funny quotes about marriage.

A horse is a sphere if it makes the numbers easier. Try being a single mom. If you want to be sure.

My dream job would be the karma delivery service 26. The cow in a hurry to go to America will come back as corned beef. Manage risk dont fear it.

I swear without them I would have not made it. Funny quotes by Nigerian comedians. In any case all serious conversations need entertainment and some rest.

Parenting is never perfect. Change is not a four letter word but often your reaction to it is Jeffrey Gitomer. Our collection of short funny quotes which are short straight to your head and mind-blowing.

Friday makes Monday worth it Andy Atticus. As a single mom sacrifices are made but strength is found. I find television very educational.

I survived thanks to funny quotes and Netflix. He knows nothing and he thinks he knows everything.


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